FOR BETTER OR WORSE
Dear Church,
I want to brag on the amazing job that Pastor Martin and the team did this past Monday evening. We hosted a “Sweethearts” dinner for nearly 50 couples. It was a simple evening of amazing food (provided by Parma Ridge Winery) and outstanding roundtable conversations. As I sat at my table with my beautiful bride, I watched and listened to the laughter around the room and thought, “this is good!” I was proud to know that our church family loves marriage and values investing into one another even when it can be hard at times. My dear friend Bill Simpkins recently shared the following story (get your Kleenex ready) with me and all I could think was that I hope to be that kind of man – For Better or For Worse:
My precious Patricia Jeanne (Batty) Simpkins – 3/23/1934 – 1/5/2018
The last two and a half years of my Patty’s life were in constant physical decline, and as her husband, life-companion and best friend for over 65 years, it was my blessed privilege to be there for her and put my love for her into action as her devoted and loving caregiver. Week after week, though so terribly hard both physically and emotionally for Patty; the ordeals of one doctor appointment after another, none seemed to be helping much if at all. Finally, at the last, she pleaded with me not to make her do it anymore. I reluctantly said, with tears streaming, that after this one………no more!
In her last few months, I was dressing her and washing and combing her hair, lifting her bodily out of bed and into her walker/chair to go to the bathroom; cleaning her and cleaning up after. I was lifting her into the bathtub, helping her bathe, and back out again, and when she no longer had the strength to do that, carrying her into the shower where I sat her on the little bench and bathed her. And then when she was no longer able to tolerate even that, we hired professionals to come two or three times a week, and give her baths in bed. When her strength was completely gone, she would wake me several times each night to change her position in bed or take her to the bathroom. I was willingly living on just a few hours sleep a night, with no chance to nap in the daytime. I was preparing her food and bringing it to her on a tray in bed, pleading with her to at least take a few bites, and sip some Ensure, Sprite or water. And here is the point; never once did I not want to do that for her. She was the love of my life; my dear sweet wife, and she wanted nobody else to do for her what I was doing, and neither did I. Amazing lady!! She never once complained. There was one day where she asked, “What is going to happen to me?” I was NOT yet ready to think about that, so I just said, “I don’t know.”
Finally, though, a couple of days before she graduated to heaven, she looked past her tray of food, and with a slight wave of her hand, she said, “I am not sorry about it.” I asked her, “What are you not sorry about?” She said, “I’m not sorry I’m going, because this is miserable!” I just had to leave the room so I could go and privately cry my heart out. Then, soon after that, she woke me as she spoke out in the middle of the night and said, “Take me away.” I thought she was just talking in her sleep and ignored it, but in a moment she spoke clearly again and said, “Take me away.” I turned to her and asked, “Where do you want me to take you?” She said, “I want to go home.”
And so………..at 5:30 pm, Friday, January 5, 2018, heaven opened and I have to believe that a host of angels escorted my dear, precious Patty into the arms of Jesus; her REAL home. Now, finally, I can break down and really grieve. And I do! I love that lady for all of eternity. Oh, what a joyous day it will be when I reunite with her there.
Bill Simpkins
I know this week’s blog is focused on marriage which may not personally relate to everyone today, but may it be an inspiration to us all of what it means to finish strong.
You are loved,
Pastor Ryan